Please Do Not Have An Abortion

by: Dave Havir

This sermon is going to be primarily given for the Internet. It is designed with a specific title in mind, with the hope that someone in need will choose to read it. My name is Dave. I'm 61 years old. I've been married 39 1/2 years. I have two sons and one granddaughter. I've been in the ministry, serving in the Ministry in some fashion, since college, so I've been doing this for 40 years. I am giving this information so you will know my frame of reference.

I'm hoping today to reach three people. First of all, I am hoping to reach someone, any lady who's had an abortion and is dealing with the emotional aftereffects. I am hoping to reach any family member of a lady who is considering an abortion, and I'm hoping to reach any lady who is considering an abortion. Those are the three target areas that I am trying to reach today. We will spend some time talking about this and looking in the Scriptures.

First, let's talk about any of you ladies who have had an abortion and you are dealing with the emotional aftereffects.

Some Personal Examples

We had an interactive Bible study right before I came up here before we started this is portion of the church service and I asked different people what encounters they had with people who had abortions. Some of them had talked to people who have had abortions. Some of those situations, the person was just matter-of-fact telling, that they had an abortion and they had received no trauma, had no emotional trauma from it, but we did have at least one person that did.

In my line of work I occasionally run across people who have had an abortion years ago and they feel very badly about it. In fact, they have years and years of scars from it, and it has affected them horribly. I have met many people with different stories to tell.

Let me just talk about a few different types of people that I have talked to, before I get to those who have had the emotional scars.

I've talked mostly to people who have had an abortion, or almost have had an abortion, but were thankful they did not do so.

You can check on the web site later on the Publications Section. There is a section on the web site called 'Edifying the Body'.

The one on January 5, 2013 was written by a lady named Shirley Dobbs West and she talked about how she almost had an abortion. The title of her article is, "Abortion, Controversial For Some, But Not For Me." In the article she gives her personal example.

The very next week in that same section, her son Stan West talked about, "The Idea of Living a Life of Value." We also had later on in that same month, January 26, 2013, under the section, 'Edifying the Body', "All Life is Reason for Great Celebration."

Last year we had a lady, after church services, to give a seminar on August 24th. What happened was very interesting to me. I had given a sermon on April 20, 2013 and the title of that sermon was "Bible History About Nations, Killing Their Children." So that sermon was talking about killing children, more about from a religious point of view, not from a selfish point of view, not from a child control point of view, but she was there that day and right after church, she came up to me and said, "I'd like to talk to you about something." I said, "Sure." I was willing to listen and she talked about when she almost had an abortion, and what she was going through, leading up to making that decision. She said she had never talked about it before. I said, "Would you be willing to share your story with some of our brethren from our congregation." She said, "Sure." So she came back a couple months later, and gave her testimony about it.

So that's the most common stories that I have come across. People who were going to have an abortion or felt pressured to have an abortion and they changed their mind and usually they're happy that they did.

Occasionally I run across people who learned that their mother, almost performed an abortion on them that would have killed them. Those are very moving stories.

I remember down in Tyler, Texas, a little congregation east of Dallas, there was a meeting of people talking about abortion and a lady stood up and talked about how her mother wanted to have an abortion on her and she survived. She explained her life. So it is very interesting when people can talk about their personal examples and you hear all sorts of stories.

I just wanted to share these stories, but the one I want to talk about the most in this section, is the one who had an abortion and you have emotional baggage because of it?

Saved By Grace

Let's look at some Scriptures. Let's look at Ephesians chapter 2, verses 8 to 9. One lady in our interactive Bible study, mentioned something very, very good, and I will say this, you have to understand, even though I am speaking on behalf of religion or from a religious perspective, you have to understand that there is a wide variety of ways people approach religion. You have to understand at times, that people will give religion a bad name. I think there's a time to speak strongly against something, but there's a time, also, to quietly listen and speak softly.

The thing is, people don't understand the concept of being saved by grace. They don't understand that concept and when you have done something traumatic, whatever you have done, you are living with the shame, or living with the guilt. Let me point out some very important Scriptures to you.

Ephesians chapter 2 verses 8 through 10, says, "By grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves. it's a gift of God."

You may be having trouble forgiving yourself for making a decision that you now regret, that has caused you years and years of trouble and trials and maybe you just wonder, "How in the world could I have done something like that?" Of course that can apply to any action, any disobedience, or any variance in our behavior, but the fact is the religious point of view from God the Father, and Jesus Christ our Savior, is that we are saved by grace.

I know a lot of churches say it, but they don't always apply it. We will try to understand it the best we can. We are saved by grace through faith. It's not of ourselves. It's a gift from God.

People who have not committed an abortion are not any better than people who have committed an abortion. Religious people may tell you differently but it's just not true.

Letís look at verse 9, "Not of works, lest any man could boast."

If it were of works, then people could boast, and people could have a list of things which they did or did not do, then you would start listing what sins are worse or what sins are more dangerous, and who is better and who is worse.

Of course that's where society is. When you are in school you try to have the best grades. When you're on the basketball team you try to be the best player. If you were in the choir, you would try to make sure you're the first chair, if you can be the first chair. That's what life's about.

That's not the way religion is. Religion is not judging based on competition, one with the other. We are saved by grace! Now it is true, that sometimes people make the mistake of saying, "Since we are saved by grace," we can do anything we want to do and we can disobey some of God's instructions. That's a horrible mistake.

After being saved by grace we are to do good works. Verse 10 says, "We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works."

In other words God wants us to do good things. He has expectations of us, but the expectations don't earn salvation. The expectations are the result of salvation. The expectations is the result of God's mercy and so thereby we do want to obey God. We want to find out, what does God want us to do? After we find out what God wants us to do, we are all judged by what we do with what we know, so thereby, we realize then, if this is what God wants us to do, then this is what we should do.

Works does not save us, we are saved by grace and because of God's mercy, we then want to obey Him. We want to please our heavenly Father.

So again, when you look back at all of the mistakes you have made, those are all of the things you need to deal with, with God, but don't categorize yourselves based on your mistakes, and even though you've done something that apparently has troubled you, it is behind you. You can make sure it's behind you, because of God's grace and your renewed commitment to follow His instructions, which are good for you.

Judge Not

Let's look at Matthew chapter 7 verses 1 to 5. Jesus said, "Judge not, that you be not judged."

Of course, this is a very common problem in religion, because religion wants to follow God's high ideals and it's good to follow God's high ideals, but because people want to follow God's high ideals, they sometimes then want to evaluate their ideals and look down on other people who don't measure up, and sometimes they will claim it is God's standards because they will speak for God. Usually when people judge each other, it's really their interpretation of God's standards.

But Jesus said, "Judge not" which means "do not condemn." Letís think about the word 'judge.' It is proper to discern behavior. It is improper to condemn behavior, to be hard on people, but we have to discern right from wrong. We should teach our children to discern right from wrong, even if it is just within the family. We should teach our children to discern, but then try to teach them how to relate to other people.

Jesus said, in verse 2, "With what judgment you judge, you shall be judged. With what measure you use, it will be measured to you again."

If people are judging you harshly over whatever mistake you made, then we are overstepping our bounds. We are violating what Jesus Christ instructed us.

Verse 3, "Why do you behold the mote that is in your brother's eye, but you don't consider the beam in your own eye?"

People should not be worrying about the mistakes other people made. We should all be focusing on our own mistakes, and we should try to let them be in the past. We should eradicate those from our life because of God's great way of blessing.

Verse four says, "How will you say to your brother, "Let me pull the mote out of your eye, but, behold, is there not a beam in your own eye? {5} You hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of your own eye, and then shall you see clearly to cast out the mote out of your brother's eye."

A Little Secret

Let me tell you a little secret. You may be feeling bad about a past mistake that you have made, but people are inherently selfish, and people are thinking about themselves. There might be people who rudely judge you and rudely condemn you, but most people have forgotten about it, and certainly God has forgotten about it. God has forgiven you, and you need to put that behind you and realize, yes, you have made a mistake, but that is why Jesus Christ died for you, and that's why God the Father raised Him from the dead, and that's why He gave you instructions on how to live a godly life, to walk in newness of life (Romans 6:4).

Try To Help Others

One final verse in this section to the individual who's feeling badly about past mistakes.

Second Corinthians 13 verses three and four. You have an advantage, although no one would want to imitate someone elseís mistakes, but there is an advantage when we make a mistake. There is a benefit when we make a mistake and that benefit is: when God comforts us, it helps us to deal with other people and maybe we can help other people in a loving way.

Second Corinthians 1 versus three and four says, "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, the God of all comfort. God comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may learn to comfort others."

Those of you who had an abortion years ago, you are better qualified to help people who have gone through it or will go through it than someone like myself or other people who have not gone through it.

All of us have made mistakes. All of us are equipped to repent. All of us are quick to help people who stumble. But you have specific knowledge, specific feelings, on how you can help someone so while we don't want to go out of the way to make mistakes, when mistakes happen, you have the opportunity to help someone. I hope you will put to practice your opportunity to help someone. You do not have to go out looking for someone, they will come to you and you will be able to reach out to them.

Emotional Aftereffects

So if any of you, any lady, who's had an abortion and you're dealing with emotional aftereffects, I would encourage you to put it behind you, and accept God's grace, continue to obey Him, look forward to the opportunity of how you can help somebody else.

How Can A Family Member Help?

The next person I want to talk to, is any family member of a lady, who is considering an abortion. This could be a father, mother or a brother. It could be an aunt or uncle. It could be a boyfriend, it could be a husband.

If you know someone who is talking about having an abortion and you're wondering what to do? I would like to give you some advice. This first piece of advice is to religious families, because sometimes these things happen to atheists or agnostic people. They may have to deal with the emotional trauma as well. But specifically for a religious family, wondering what to do to help my family member not to make this decision that you think would be a mistake.

Please recognize the difference between two contrasting actions from God. When you read your Bible, you'll see two contrasting actions. Please understand the difference. God has made many powerful proclamations against sin. When you read this book, the Bible, you'll see many powerful proclamations against sin. On the other hand, the Bible shows, that God reaches out mercifully to individuals who fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). How do you reconcile those? How do you put those together?

By the way, the Bible is a wonderful great book, but it sometimes pictures what seems to be contradictory ideas, or contrasting ideas, that a religious person needs to address, and honestly look at and come up with their own solution.

Let me show you one of the reasons on how I came up with a solution on this. This is my theory on this. It is my view on it. You may disagree with me on it. On the other hand, you might find it helpful. I have found in the main, when God makes strong proclamations against sin, He's talking nationally, talking to nations. You can go back to some of the Scriptures in the Bible, in Leviticus 26 and Deuteronomy 28, which is called the blessing and cursing chapters. Those Scriptures say if you do this you will be blessed, if you do that you will be cursed. If you look at the context of it that is to a nation.

When you look at some strong statements from Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and what others call the minor prophets, there are strong statements to a group of people. The Bible quotes God as being very strong to groups of people.

I think it's a mistake for individuals to take those strong statements and to capriciously apply them to individuals. In other words, God will say such and such is a sin.

The Bible shows that certain sexual sins are wrong and God speaks very strongly about them and against them. What if you are trying to deal with someone who's in a sexual sin, is that the time to really preach strongly to them, especially if someone's reaching out for help?

While churches will speak strongly and I have to say that, in the main, I believe abortion is a sin. However, I believe our merciful God wants to reach out to help people in those situations and our merciful God is their judge. I'm not their judge and there's a difference between making a dogmatic statement that you believe and trying to help someone who's coming for help.

So if you have a family member who is now coming to you for help, are you trying to find a way to help them? What are you going to do? Be sensitive to their needs.

The Good Samaritan

Someone mentioned in our interactive Bible study about the 'Good Samaritan.' Do you remember the story about the 'Good Samaritan?' He was beaten along the way and a priest came by and he ignored him. A Levite came by and ignored him. Then the Samaritan who was not even an acceptable person to the Jews, not of the same religion, not of the same race, not of the same acceptance level. Somebody you would consider a lesser person. The 'Good Samaritan' didn't do any preaching, he could have said, "What are you doing walking out here late at night." What good would that have done? He took care the man and his need.

So what is the need? Is it time to discuss accountability? Is it time to discuss natural consequences? Is it truly the time to discuss such things?

Now, when it is truly the time, because there is a time to talk about accountability and there is a time to talk about natural consequences, but when it is truly the time to have those discussions, ask God to help you reflect the proper love to your family member.

Let's look at Psalms chapter 119 verse 105. Psalms 119 is a great book. Psalm 119 talks about how wonderful God's instructions are. It mentions God's instruction in different ways, from the law, the testimony, the statutes, in many different ways. David who wrote this psalm was basically saying how valuable it is when God gives us great instruction. Please read the entire chapter sometime.

I like verse 105 of Psalms 119. Verse 105 says, "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."

God's way is made for good. Yes, we know God can speak very strongly and He has spoken very strongly, but I would encourage you, when you're wanting to help your family, when you are wanting help other people, instead of preaching about sin and breaking Godís Law, I would encourage you to approach them trying to show them the way of light. Try to show them a lamp to their feet. Try to show them a light to their path.

When Should We Talk Tough?

I was talking with someone and we had a very good discussion about dealing with the culture around us and I think that we had a consensus. Sometimes the best time to give some of the tougher talk is well before the trial comes on, even when they're young.

This is a slightly different example and not on the level of abortion. Let's say, you want to try to help your children not to smoke. If you talk to them for the first time about smoking and they are 16, you're too late! You have to talk to them about smoking when they are much younger than that.

In fact, when you talk to your children, whatever issue you are trying to make an impression upon them, you do it early and even at some of those early ages, you can say it in a little stronger fashion, but when the person is in the trial, that's not the time they need the doors blown off. That's not the time they need to be beaten over the head. You have to make judgments on that. You have to analyze what is the need of the person. What does the person need at that point, and then if you are trying to help a family member, they may need, like the 'Good Samaritan', to have their wounds taken care of. Maybe they need to be placed in a place that's warm and safe.

The lectures about where they go, how they travel, what type of self-defense they have, all of those discussions should have happened earlier and maybe said strongly earlier.

Be Wise In Helping

I'm talking to you if you have a family member who's considering an abortion. Especially if they have come to you, if they ask you for help, and you ask "What should I do?" This is not the time to blow their doors off.

If you feel you have to go to them, be very wise, because you are trying to help, you are trying to help them not to make a mistake. You are trying to help them and you are trying to help them to see the love of God.

Are You Considering An Abortion?

As I start to conclude, I have the last part. I am not going to spend a lot of time on this part. If I am talking to any of you out there, any lady out there, who is considering an abortion, turn to Luke chapter 19.

If you have stayed through this sermon so far, then you are at least interested enough to hear what I had to say, because you could have easily turned off already, you could've easily gone and done something else. I think what I have already said lays a foundation about how, even though we are saved by grace, God is trying to help us, and God is trying to give us a wise way to live.

My message today is not about, shape up or ship out, or do this or else, that's not my message today.

My message today is, if you're considering an abortion, please consider what's best for you and the baby. We have a God who loves us.

Let's look at Luke chapter 19 verses 41 and 42. The context here is, Jesus is entering into Jerusalem for His last time, as a physical human being. He is ascending up to Jerusalem, verse 28. He's traveling into the town.

Verse 41, "When he came near the city, He beheld the city, and wept over it."

It is true that when Jesus wept, He wept for a different reason then than what I'm talking about today. He wept because the city was about to be destroyed in about 30 years. The city was going to be destroyed and He knew it was going to happen and they didn't see it coming, and He felt sorry for them. He looked at them, and he felt compassion. I think he felt pain as he looked and saw, because of their behavior, and because of what was going to happen, the Romans were going to come in, tear down the city, tear down the Temple. People were going to die and others were going into captivity and it hurt Him to see it coming.

That's different than what we are talking about here, but the principles are the same. You worship God, and you have a Savior Jesus Christ, who will look at your situation and He will weep for you, because He will look and see what you may not see, the pain that you could bring upon yourself. You may not realize the consequence of what you are considering.

Notice here that Jesus is not pounding the pavement, trying to show you how bad you are! Jesus is here reaching out saying, "I wish you wouldn't do this."

So we see that God loves you (John 3:16). He doesn't want you to suffer later with some emotional reactions, because of a choice you are considering. I do want to mention that God loves the baby that is growing inside of you.



I am going to conclude this sermon with a five minute YouTube video presentation. I do want to mention this, I've not wanted to play on your emotions. You may be dealing with some emotional people already and if you're not ready to look at the video today, you can always come back and look at it later. It is not overly emotional, but I'm trying to be honest with you, I'm not trying to play on your emotions, but as much as God loves you, there's a viable baby growing inside of you and God loves that baby too.


Song title: You Named Me No One:



This article was transcribed with minor editing from a sermon given by:

Dave Havir

Transcribed by: bb  4/23/14

You can contact Dave Havir at Church of God Big Sandy

P.O. Box 690 - Big Sandy, Texas  75755 


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