Lover's Quotient Test

By: Daniel L. Akin 

Some men need a little assistance in preparing for romance, so I have included an adaptation of Jody Dillow's "Lover's Quotient Test" for husbands and wives to take together. As you will see, I will advise you not to take the results too seriously but to take them seriously enough. The scale runs from 0 to 360. I confess that the first time I took it I made a 90. Since then, I have progressed to a 170 and recently a 220. Believe me, progress has been made in more than one area.

We need to find out just how creative you are as a husband! Let's take the following Lover's Quotient Test. Give yourself ten points for each item on the following list if you have done it once in the past six months. If you have done any item on the list two or more times, you get twenty points. Don't take the results too seriously-but do take them seriously enough!

• Have you phoned her during the week and asked her out for one evening that weekend without telling her where you are taking her? A mystery date is what we have in mind!

• Have you given her an evening completely off? You clean up the kitchen; you take care of the kids; you get things settled for the night.

• Have you gone parking with her at some safe and secluded spot and kissed and talked for an evening?

• Have you drawn a bath for her after dinner? Put a scented candle in the bathroom, added bath oil to the bath, sent her there right after dinner, and then you cleaned up and put the kids to bed while she relaxed. (In order to get any points for this, you must also clean up the tub!)

• Have you phoned her from work to tell her you were thinking nice thoughts about her? (You get no points for this one if you asked her what was in the mail or what is for dinner!)

• Have you written her a love letter and sent it special delivery? (First-class mail will do.)

• Have you made a tape recording of all the reasons you have for loving her? Given it to her wrapped in a sheer negligee?

• Have you given her a day off? Send her out to do what she wants. You clean the house, fix the meals, and take care of the kids. (My wife says you ought to get thirty points for this one!)

• Have you put a special-effects recording of ocean waves on tape and played it while you had a luau on the living room floor? Other creative evening adventures may be substituted!

• Have you spent a whole evening (more than two hours) sharing mutual goals and planning family objectives with her and the children?

• Have you ever planned a surprise weekend? You make the reservations and arrange for someone to keep the children for two days. Tell her to pack her suitcase, but don't tell her where you are going (just be sure it's not the Super Bowl or the Final Four!). Make it some place romantic.

• Have you picked up your clothes just one time in the past six months and put them on hangers?

• Have you given her an all-over body massage with scented lotion? (If not, why not?)

• Have you spent a session of making love to her that included at least two hours of romantic conversation, shared dreams, and much variety of approach and caresses?

• Have you repaired something around the house which she has not requested?

• Have you kissed her passionately for at least thirty seconds one morning just before you left for work or one evening when you walked in the door?

• Have you brought her an unexpected little gift like perfume, a ring, or an item of clothing?

• Have you replaced her old negligee?

This ridiculous test has been given to men all over the country. Let's see how your scores compare with theirs:

200-360: Lover. Awesome! You are the man! You undoubtedly have one of the most satisfied wives in the country. You are in the top 1 percent!

150-200: Good. Way to go! Very few make this category. You are a top ten candidate! Your wife probably smiles a lot!

100-150: Average. This husband is the norm and usually not very exciting as a lover. You are steady, but there are not many fireworks in the area of romance from your wife's perspective.

50-100: Klutz. Boring! You can do better than this! Too many men score in this category. I hope you will begin to work to move up soon.

0-50: Typical Husband. Ouch! Sad! There is a huge difference between a "typical husband" and a "lover." The only reason your wife is still married to you is that she's a Christian. She has unusual capacity for unconditional acceptance (of you!), and there are some verses in the Bible that sustain her. (adapted from Jody Dillow's "Lover's Quotient Test").

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Editorial Note: Daniel L. Akin is the author of the Commentary on the book of ‘Song of Songs" which is part of the ‘Holman Old Testament Commentary.’ You can purchase this Commentary which is Volume 14 in this Commentary set from This book, ‘Song of Songs’, was written by Solomon and obviously is part of the Old Testament and it is a very difficult book to understand. This Commentary on the ‘Song of Songs’ is an excellent commentary and Bible Study on this book and it brings to life the background and the meanings of the different phrases that Solomon and his bride to be, Shulammite, in their communication with each other. The ‘Holman Old Testament Commentary’ is more than just a commentary.

Opening quotations stimulate thinking and lead to an introductory illustration and discussion that draw individuals and study groups into the Word of God. "In a Nutshell" summarizes the content and teaching of the chapter. Verse-by-verse commentary. A specific modern illustration then ties application vividly to present life. A brief prayer aids the student to commit his or her daily life to the principles and applications found in the Bible chapter being studied. For those still hungry for more, "Deeper Discoveries" take the student into a more personal, deeper study of the words, phrases, and themes of God's Word. Finally, a teaching outline provides transitional statements and conclusions along with an outline to assist the teacher in group Bible studies.

This Commentary can and will make your Bible Study more alive and exciting.

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